he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize