Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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