Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
