Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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