38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
