I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
