We need to rekindle our bromance
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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