I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
