after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.