it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
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I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis