i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
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I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
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I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol