its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.