i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.