no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
