weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
