I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
