great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
