I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
