we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Randomize
