Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
