Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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