I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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