I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
