She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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