Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Even the bartender felt bad for me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
