they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
