My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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