fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He did a backflip because drugs
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