he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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