At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
