Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize