We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
