I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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