drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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