Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
