i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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