he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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