We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
