I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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