from now on my penis is your penis
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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