So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm bleeding and have questions
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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