i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
