...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i think my mom watched the whole time
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8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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