belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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