Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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