she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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