that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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