You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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