roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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