This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
