oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
