I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
