Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
