He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
