Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
