I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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