It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
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Boobs are out for the taking
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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