I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
