am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
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