omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
