I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
