it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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