Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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