I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
