Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I want a musical about memes.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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