We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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