so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
There are leaves in my underwear?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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