I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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