He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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