what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
