I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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