i jhust puked up my retainher.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
